How to explain what you do for a living

When I go to parties, people always ask what I do for a living. When I tell them “direct marketing,” they nod, but I know they’re clueless.

People don’t really know the difference between the various flavors of advertising and marketing. And book definitions don’t help. So I’ve adopted a more pragmatic way of explaining my line of work and how it differs from other specialties.

Feel free to steal this and use it for yourself. I did.

You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You walk up to her and say, “I’m great in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You ask your friend to walk up to her and say, “See that guy over there? He’s great in bed.” That’s Advertising

You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You get her phone number from someone. The next day you call and say, “I’m great in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You comb your hair, straighten your tie, then ask if she’d like drink. You chat and joke with her throughout the evening, offer her a ride home, walk her to her door, then say, “By the way, I’m great in bed.” That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. She walks up to you and says, “I know you. You’re the one who’s great in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

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Comments

5 Responses to “How to explain what you do for a living”

  1. Dimitar Tsonev on February 10th, 2010 2:43 am

    You’re on your way for the party when you realize that in the houses around should be beautiful young women. So you climb to the roof of the nearest house and scream: “I’m fantastic in bed”. This is spam.
    .-= Dimitar Tsonev’s last blog … Ден за почистване на компютъра =-.

  2. Dean Rieck on February 10th, 2010 9:07 am

    Dimitar:
    LOL I love it. Thanks.

  3. Professional copywriter on February 12th, 2010 8:03 am

    Brand recognition! If only my life was remotely similar – instead of the lines of laughing and pointing at any given social occasion! swings and roundabouts!
    .-= Professional copywriter’s last blog … Hi I’m Mike – The Brand =-.

  4. Donnie Bryant on February 27th, 2010 6:40 pm

    That is classic!

    Speaking of classic, let me try one John E. Kennedy may have appreciated.

    You’re at a party where there are lots of beautiful womem. You take a stick a bunch of pictures of yourself with the slogan “Good in Bed” on the walls where you think the ladies will notice.

    That’s “Name-Before-the-People” advertising.

    (You know, the kind most big corporations with million-dollar marketing budgets use. The kind that makes determining ROI uber-difficult. The kind where salesmanship is replaced by cleverness.)

  5. Marketing Definitions (Hilarious & Instructive) « Donnie Bryant on February 27th, 2010 6:47 pm

    [...] If you know or care anything about marketing or advertising, I’m begging you, check out this post from Dean Rieck’s blog.  It’s been a while since I actually LOLed at a business blog [...]



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