Want to read some great headlines? Check these out:
Man’s head explodes in barber’s chair.
Woman with 4 legs opens dance studio.
Skiing squirrel dies trying to break 196 m.p.h. speed record!
Cow crashes domino game.
Inflate-a-Boob. New breast implants take gals from flat to fabulous … in seconds!
And these are just the beginning. Alex Eckelberry from Sunbelt Blog turned me on to a collection of Weekly World News back issues preserved in all their eye-popping glory by Google Books.
This stuff is like a Barnum and Baily nightmare. But they hold a treasure of incredible headlines that, while weird and over-the-top, work like money machines. I mean, they certainly sell these publications.
If you want a quick education in using headlines to get attention and get people reading (which is the #1 purpose of any headline), spend some time with these marvels of unabashedly hardcore copywriting. Notice the startling choice of words and extreme specificity.
Pig-nosed man roasted alive in fire-walk tragedy!
Headless ghost haunts railroad tracks … looking for his booze and smokes!
18 things you never knew about Hank the angry drunken dwarf!
Loving her was easy – until she took off her clothes!
Ghost airliner brings back dead rock starts
Rub the famous magic fish … and get anything you want!
Teen’s hair changes color … with her mood!
Half of U.S. hookers are space aliens – and they don’t have sex organs!
Man makes $60,000 a year as human lawn jockey
Is your cat from mars?
London man is electrolysist by day and … werewolf by night. “I know all about unwanted hair growth says spa employee.”
Secretary lifts car off boss – and he fires her!
Iraqi elephant man keeps 10 wives happy! His trunk is his secret charm, says neighbors.
Supreme Court judges are naked under robes!
Nazi UFOs to attack U.S.
Chain-smoker kicks 30-year habit … then chokes to death on wad of nicotine gum!
Want more? Browse this collection of trashy tabloids.