The money wasted on do-nothing “corporate” advertising is truly astonishing. Here’s a “corporate” style ad I chose completely at random from Target Marketing magazine.

Okay, quick … what’s it about? Don’t know? Of course not. You have to read the teeny little block of type to find out it has something to do with email. I think it’s software, but I’m not entirely sure.

This is typical of what I call “corporate” ads. These are ads that look pretty, say little, cost a lot, and don’t work very well.

Now I want to make it clear that I’m not a direct response knuckle dragger. I do not think that everyone has to sell everything via direct marketing. Mass marketing, retailing, and other selling strategies are perfectly valid.

However, as a pragmatic marketing guy, I think that you should get what you pay for when spending money on advertising. You should know what you want to accomplish and demand that your ads use the best techniques available to get the job done.

“Corporate” ads are ads that waste money because even if they have a goal, they do very little to accomplish that goal.

The ad above, for example, wants to introduce you to a product or service and even has a free white paper to offer you. But is that instantly apparent? No. Are you likely to take the time to decipher the ad to find out what it’s about? No. Will you download the white paper? Probably not.

What does this ad do wrong? First, it’s not designed to be read. It’s just one big piece of eye-candy. Second, where’s the headline? Is it that light, gray line in 9-point type below the photo? Third, there’s an offer, but it’s hidden waaaay down at the bottom in gray, 7-point type. Fourth, the copy itself is short, small (also 7-point type), and generic. It just doesn’t tell you much.

Like most “corporate” ads, its existence is probably justified by an ad exec somewhere saying it takes “frequency” to get a message across or that the ad establishes an “image” for the product. Or maybe there’s a creative brief somewhere claiming this is a “positioning” ad.

But you know the real reason? The company doesn’t know how to sell or they’ve been convinced that selling is “lowbrow” and beneath them. They probably think that you can either position your product OR sell, but not both, which is a common misconception.

Any competent copywriter could write a benefit headline, copy that explains what’s so great about this product, and a call to action that makes you want to get that white paper. Nearly any designer could lay out this ad to catch the eye, make reading easy, and highlight important items, such as the headline and offer.

And you know what? It would not only get a better response, it would do a better job of establishing an “image” and “positioning” the product because it would actually engage readers, communicate clearly, and entice people to get involved with the ad.

By the way, the title of the white paper is “Engagement Marketing: Partnering With Your Customer for Success.” Is that irony or what?

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Direct response design is all about getting people to READ the text. If no one reads the words, why bother running the ad?

While flipping through some magazines recently, I came across this ad for a laser sighting device. I know what the ad is about because of the photo, but certainly not because of the text. This ad ignores virtually every convention for designing readable copy.

Notice that it wants to be a direct response ad. There’s an offer for a DVD at the bottom, but the Web address and phone number are tiny and hard to read. There is no headline. The text is “justified,” meaning it’s stretched to line up with both margins. Copy is set in all caps. The background is dark. And the main text is framed as if it’s artwork.

If you want to design an ad no one will read, this is how it’s done. I’m writing a blog post about it and I’ve still not read it!

Now here’s another ad from the same magazine. The product is grass plugs. It’s not going to win any design awards, but notice the difference.

Here you have an ad that IS designed to be read. Not only is there a headline, there’s a headline with benefits. The text is a bit small, but it’s legible and set in three columns, which makes text lines short and scannable. Subheads spell out benefits and organize the copy. There’s a clear, highlighted call to action and an order form. The designer was even smart enough to use black type on a yellow background, which is a high-contrast combination in print.

If you want people to read an ad, you must follow the conventions of readable type. If nothing else, look at a newspaper or high-circulation magazine for ideas. There’s a reason popular publications are popular: people READ them.

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Some of the best advertisements are built around a story.

This is an advanced copywriting technique and takes a deft hand to pull off, so I don’t recommend it to novice copywriters. But when you can do it convincingly, it’s a thing of beauty.

Here’s an ad I ran across while rifling through some folders this morning. This is probably too small to read, but you can click on it to download a PDF image of the entire ad.

Let’s take a look at a few things that make this ad work.

First, the headline is newsy and intriguing. It introduces the idea of losing a lot of weight, but it teases you with the promise of an interesting story. A headline is supposed to draw you in and make you read the body copy, so this sort of headline does its job well.

Notice the specificity of the headline. It’s not just a housewife, but an Atlanta housewife. She didn’t merely lose weight; she lost 73 pounds.

Second, note the simple layout of the text. It’s intended to look like an article in the magazine where the ad appeared. While most ads should stand out, this sort of ad is intended to blend in. Why? Because it’s aimed at people who are reading the magazine and looking for interesting stories.

This type of ad is usually called an “advertorial.” It calls for a newsy tone, long copy, and minimal design.

Third, (assuming you’ve read the entire ad above) note how the explanation about why the Atlanta housewife was almost arrested is only revealed after you read about two-thirds of the text. The writer didn’t want to satisfy curiosity about this too soon. This helps to keep readers reading.

Fourth, the call to action is saved for the end. This is no surprise to those experienced at story ads, but it’s something many copywriters would screw up. The trend today is to spit out the call to action immediately, and that works in many circumstances. However, it would kill a story ad like this. You have to hook the reader, tell the story, and only then ask for the order. It takes faith in the format.

Fifth, the copy is written in the first person. Normally, you avoid this in typical copywriting since you want to put the focus on the reader. In a story ad, though, the copy is personal and works like a testimonial. It’s like a friend talking to you.

Story ads are not appropriate for every product or publication. But if you have the chance to write one, keep these ideas in mind. This type of ad can be fun and highly satisfying.

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Let’s take a look at a few principles for writing and designing effective print ads. And instead of rehashing “classic” ads that you always see in advertising and marketing textbooks, let’s just pick an ad out of the newspaper. That’s where a lot of the ad dollars go anyway.

Here’s one I ran across today in my local paper. It’s not pretty. And it ain’t Shakespeare. But it’s a damn good ad. Why? Mostly because it’s all business. The copywriter isn’t trying to entertain. The designer isn’t trying to impress. Take a good look.

The ad copy here is doing smart things:

1. The headline selects the audience and identifies a problem.

2. The subhead promises a solution.

3. The body copy suggests the solution is easy.

4. The offer is simple and direct. And it’s free!

5. The title of “Dr.” and the testimonials establish credibility.

The ad design is smart as well:

1.The headline and subhead are big and bold.

2. The illustration ties directly to the headline.

3. The body copy is in large type and bulleted to make reading easy and scanning effortless.

4. The offer and call to action are highlighted and cannot be missed.

5. There is not one hint of cleverness to distract from the message.

This print ad won’t win a single award. Most ad agency copywriters or designers couldn’t bear to be in the same room with a print ad like this. But this is solid advertising. This is the sort of ad that works!

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